Monday, February 11, 2008

Losing passion

Sorry for this post, which is not a quotation, but merely some thoughts on a personal experience that I would like to share, because keeping it for myself is highly frustrating.
This is about passion, or the loss of it.
Passion about some sports, but it could apply to passion about anything.
I had a passion for windsurf and surf, for the particular relationship with the sea they provide, for the bliss of riding a good wave or jumping high in the air. My passion lead me to Hawaii, where I could enjoy it and keep it alive for more than 7 years. But little by little, something changed. I still get the urge to go in the water when I see a surf or a windsurf movie, or when we make our own surf movie with my friend François, with footage of us surfing, that we took several years ago already, and carefully select the best rides, the best moments, like in real surf movies. It always gives you a false impression that you just need to go in the water to get a thrilling session. It makes you forget the countless bad sessions, the injuries, the broken equipment... in short: real life ! But it is passion that makes you endure all of that for the reward of this rare wave that is worth all the sacrifices. And it is what I am losing.
I get more and more frustrated by the time spent in vain driving two hours for just getting in the water and not taking even one wave, like the day before yesterday, because it was bigger than forecasted and over my capabilities, or rigging my windsurf equipment and taking barely one small wave before the wind dies or my equipment breaks, like yesterday or last Sunday. I get so frustrated that I think to myself: "This is it, I am going to sell my equipment and stop losing my time doing these damn sports !"
But, like a drug addict, I know that I will eventually go back, give it another chance, get frustrated again. But I am not sure how much longer the bliss of the rare good wave will keep me going. Perhaps this is all the better like that, because I am leaving Hawaii soon... Even though, losing one's passion makes you feel awckward.


François Ascani said...

Sure, having a good time in surf or windsurf is nice, but even then you do not get satisfied anyway. It is a different frustation but it happens so rarely that you do not notice it.

Sure, I say Saturday was really a wasted day: I had to sleep two hours in the afternoon and emerged only at 3pm. Nothing was accomplished. What a day.

But do not forget that you also ask for a lot: how many days in the year there is a 8-foot nice clean swell. Not that many.

And last time at Diamond Head, that was merely bad luck. You cannot draw grand conclusions from that. Put it in the garbage; it has no statistical significance.

So what? Then bo back to the basics. I have not been surfing ANY glassy sessions over the last two years. And I am still a (very) happy surfer. My recipe is Diamond Head. Like yesterday. it was pretty good. If your time is precious, choice the places where you known you will have the most fun whatever the conditions. When was the last time you took your longbard and went surfing on a "crappy" day?

And in any case, nothing is accomplished in the world if people are not positive. It is the key for many things. Use it.

Cheers! and why not surfing with Eman and I sometimes this week at Diamond Head?

Cedric said...

I don't have time any more to surf during the week...
Anyway, I agree with what you say, that's good it works for you, but it does not change what I feel...

Davy said...

Mmm, the same thing happened for me with ski and snowboard : having reached my limits (big jump, explored almost every place in the domain) and known excellent conditions (meters of snow and sunny days), I spent a few years wondering why I was just trying to renew old feelings. I even had one year when I usually go to ski/ride just one hour, time to reach the top of the resort, then go back home because I just feel I am wasting my time...

But then pleasure came back. First by sharing the pleasure, then exploring new places. Now even a bad session can be cool because of the hot chocolate when I go home ! Or because friends were complaining more than I did !!!
So leaving Hawaii might be good for you, but I feel that 6 months after you have left, you will be wondering why you did not stay !!!
So enjoy the days being and remember the privilege you have to be able to ride so often in such pleasant places !!!

François Ascani said...

No time to surf during the week? What does that mean? My week is from Monday to Sunday. What is yours?

Cedric said...

I thought you meant during the work week (Monday-Friday). Sure, let's surf together on the weekends when it is not enough windy for winsurf !